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Car Situation is Worse

One of the conditions for the Car Situation was that I would get a brand new one, whatever I choose.

That's not true now.

I have to get a used one. Which I was fine with. But the car has to be under/around $4,000.

Meaning CRAP CAR!

I checked out cars at that prise, and guess what?

They're broken down, old, ugly and none of them I Like.

So basically I'm at the limit of how far they can stretch me.

If they buy a car for me like that, guess what?

Not gonna drive it.

Because that's CRAP!

My older brother who has MY car should give me back that one!

Because I'm not driving anything else.

Quite literally I don't know how far i can exceed my limits, I'm to the point where I'm considering moving out. (P.S. Nonce don't tell you're Rents I don't want them calling my mom).

I believe this is unfair and unjust and pisses me off to the EXTREME!

I wanna know what the hell I did to deserve this, because as of right now I have no idea what I did.

I have been told that it is not my fault and that it's not right, well Oh well sucks for me because that's the way life is.

Maybe I'm just being bitchy, maybe i deserve it, maybe i'm blowing this all out of proportion.

I don't care, it still pisses me off.

You know what else?

I WANT MY LAPTOP TO BE FIXED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*growls*.

I also believe I have every right to be pissed off about this situation.

AWA and life in general.

AWA is approaching.

And I don't have money nor a new computer.

I should already have both.

Do I?

No, of course not, my little brother has baseball practice and since we get out early on Wednesday i thought "Hey! I can get money on Wednesday!" But obviously not.

Too much shit and not enough time.

There is one good thing though.

I get to go as Hitsugiya!!!!!!

I luffles him. ^.^

But other than that life has been crap.

Although I have come up with a new SessXKag....

As well as KuramaXKagome, yum...

Well at least I'm getting writing time.

Not really.

I can't write when someone else is in the room, i have to be by myself and I can't do that because my elder bro (the one who took my car) is always watching me!!!!! AND he's always in the f****ing room!

GR...

I hate him.

He needs to leave.

And on top of that I'm getting sick and my headaches are coming back.

Stress Levels

Last week I had massive sinus headaches. I think it is because of me stressing the car situation, because when I was at my cousins I didn't have it, but I come back home and instantly once my cousin left it came back.

So maybe its from my anxiety.

I should let the situation go.

I think I will.

For now.

A Bitterness

I think that it is unfair, as I would put it, that me, the good child, would get something taken away from me. I mean i have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, unsupervised, don't experiment in sexual exploits, that I would be in a situation quite like this.

I have faults, I make average grades, I try hard in almost everything I do and yet I am always the one slighted. When I want to spend some time with my mother, do I, can I?

No.

She is too busy with my little brother and his sport functions. I rarely ever get to see either of my parents during baseball season/summer.
I no longer go to any games because I have seen it all before and I know what is going to happen. What kid will make what mistake.

It bothers me only slightly, I am a very independent person and don't really like people to know my secrets and functions in my daily life, but I believe I have been slighted, just a tiny bit.

My elder brothers have always needed financial support from my parents, I understand this.

Which is why I will not follow in their footsteps, I refuse too.

My eldest brother has moved back in with us because he is going through a divorce.

I understand this.

She takes the ratty van that doesn't have air-conditioning away. During one of the proceedings.

I feel bad.

Earlier he should have sold the piece of crap and used it as a down payment for another car, but did he? No he went after MY car.

The car I was promised.

The car my mother bought, paid for, drove it twice decided she hated it and gave it too me.

Promised me that I could have it.

It is no longer in my possession but  in his.

Did they consult me on this matter?

No.

They merely gave it away AFTER the fact that I had been promised this car a year before.

I understand that he needs a car, well there's a bus station not even a mile away he can walk there and get a ride from the bus.

I am, and I am
adamant  to admit this, very bitter about this situation.

I, the good child who rarely has ever needed to be punished, who has never done drugs, experienced alcohol the ways others have, and have never indulged in sex. When both my elder brothers have done all of the above and more get slighted.

I think I have every right to be bitter.

What about you?

Do you think so too?

Almost

Almost.

So close.

I can't wait!

I don't want to wait.

It's almost time.

Just a few more hours.

8 hours to go.

My palms are sweaty with my excitement of the newest Harry Potter book and i cannot wait!

With the waiting I'm also typing, it's gotten me into the mood, so I'm almost done with that too.

Chi no Namida has about two to three more pages to go.

Moved On has about three to four.

Face It has a lot more, but it's getting done.

Whew!

Still can't wait!!!!! And I want someone else (no one I know) who will beta Chi for me.

No offense Nonce. I love you, but I need another person who is unconnected to me to tell me it's good. (please don't kill me.)

Gah! I can't wait!!!!!!

X3

Warning

Sorry I haven't updated in a long while. :'(

It can be said for a lot of things.

I'm tired and almost dead.

I'm also stressed.

Which means I'm unhappy.

Which in turns pisses off everyone around me.

My stories are being written, but... I've been working on new ones as well.

I'm waiting (impatiently) for the next and last Harry Potter. I've gotten into two new books and stopped reading the Anita Blake Series.

I'm addicted to Host Club as of right now as well as other select anime and manga.

I'm trying to finish  W Juliet, but I can't find the manga anywhere else online and whenever I go to Waldenbooks they don't have the ones I need or want.

I'm trying to finish three stories at once (all one-shots) and I have a few more to add to my comp, but I don't see that happening anytime soon.

I've barely had any sleep, so I'm cranky and I'm upset.

So I have one warning piss me off and I'll kill you.

Inspiration

Inspiration always catches me at the wrong time. For example, I'll be sitting in class doing work then the next thing i know an idea will pop into my head, and don't you know it, my paper is all gone! GRRRRRRRR! But i have started a new story. Hime-sama, but i have not yet put it up and won't be doing so until i have more chappies. Hime-sama has 2 chapters already, and i've already test drove it. I've sent it to reviewers and some friends who LOVE it and want more. And constantly nag me for it, but i don't mind i need it.

My Bodyguard is doing well, although i have to get to the part where Kikyou screws everything up. which i bet i can do in a few chappies.

The Curse, i HAVE to find names for the babies! GAH!

ON TOP OF THAT:

My friend, Jennifer and I are starting a manga. Which we already have a charcter ready, but sadly not the main characters. And i have to get the plot together since she is the artist and i make the story line up. Damn. But it's all good.

Me, Ana, Linda, Abby are dragging Johnathan to the movies with us, and he's gonna watch Happy Feet with us. I just realized, i haven't been out in a while. Double damn. Well I get to go out 2morrow! WOOT! OH and Korey's been comandeering my Computer in Digital Media! DAMN HIM! But it gives me an excuse as to why i'm turning all my work in late. Heh.

AND Uncle Dickie, the manga library, GAVE ME LOTSA MANGA!!!!!!

Which means i'm not bored in health anymore! YAY! LOVE YA LOTS! Uncle Dickie!!

I'm the ever busy bee.

Late Start

OMG! I got up this morning and it was rel;e late i usually wake up at nine or ten, but this morning i woke up at 12:25. Not only that, but i got a late start on all of my fix. I stared a one-shot with my fav crossover couple. Just beacuse it was brewing up inside me for sooo long. It's rele Long! I haven't written this many pages since i wrote Beautiful. Which desperately needs to be updated. But thatz beside the point. I finally got to my comp at like 1:45 and went to check my mail. And i got an e-mail from Logan! Who is back in GA and is able to e-mail. which made me happy since i hadn't talked to him in months. :'( Sad i know. But i feel loved that i got an e-mail.

But I was rele happy to get a message frm him. I was also very mad at DramaCon. I didn't like the ending nor did i like Matt's girlfriend. I still can't get over the fact that she took his glasses off and everyone saw. WEll i'm desperately waiting for the 9th chapter of Divine Concubine to come out. Cira is my god! i swear. But she hasn't updated and i wanna cry. Because that story is crack.

I need to update like 4 of my stories. three of which are my most popular. And i'm being threatened again. WAHHHH o well. That's what i get for being an author.

OH! and i really need to finsh The Killing Dance. Anita Blake is just sooo AWSM! But i really don't want her and Richard to break up and i know it's going to happen. I want ehr to be with Jean-Claude, but i want her to be with Richard. Hmmm... She would techancally be better off with Jean-Claude since he realizes her need to protect herself as well kill for herself. Heh. I love Anita. And i'm waiting, not patiently, whenmy all time favorite character comes in. Asher. Pretty Vamp. Heh. WEll i've written enough i'm leaving now.

Must get back to writing now that i'm actually inspired.

Soooo...

Grad test was yesterday! yea tht was soooo much fun, going 2 a party 2 morrow, saw Tim 2 day, and going to watch the Hills Have Eyes. Heard it was good. Soooo thtz wuts been up, and im dfesperately trying 2 get out of my writers block. Which makes me wanna cry. Cause i wanna write and i can't.! WAHHHHHHH!

Jap Fest!

OMG Jap Fest was sooooo much fun! i only spent 14 dollars but i still had a great time. First i ate then i went shopping around. I got a "Ichiban" head band! Funness. Ooooooo then i got a light up shot glass. 4 FREE! as well as 2 blank disks as well an a 6hr blank DVD. We all kno wut tht means. Time to burn my anime! HELLS YES! O.O we had the greatest time.

2morrow going 2 AWA, thats right AWA! can't wait! WOOO